Its about this point where i'm realising i may have bitten off more than i can chew...
Just returned from a two hour driving lesson- one hour of which was a mock test.
So my instructor is telling me how surprised he is that i did as well as i did... but that he still thinks i should move the test till after Christmas. I'm sat there listening to him offering me free lessons because he likes me and trying to prove that he's not just saying it to get more money (which i don't have) out of me. I don't need this to drag on!
All the wedding plans are going into overdrive this Christmas as it is the first time we're all together and we can do a big push to getting everything moving.
I'm leaving for a weekend in Wales with my CU in about 5 hours time. I haven't got any motivation at all to go, not sure why i am really. I got really pissed off at CU last night because this speaker woman came in and told us that any Christian going out with a non-Christian is really stupid (she put a big emphasis on 'stupid') and i felt like walking out, i don't appreciate having my intelligence insulted in this way.
I wonder if i explained my circumstances to her if she'd eat her words (very complicated relationship me and jamie have). Anyway i was having an argument with God in my head this morning cause he was making me remember this woman and what she said (and hiding my leg-warmers) and i was getting increasingly angry.
The curate in my Church back home is a lovely woman, she's been married like 25/30 odd years and her husband has just been baptised; I admire her and her perseverance. I don't understand why people frowned on her for marrying a non-Christian. I am under the impression that you, as a christian, are supposed to do whatever it takes to show the people close to you who Jesus is. I am doing that.
Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship and taking up an awful lot of the little time we have together, but i'm doing it. Now i've realised my role, i'm bloody doing it. And that women is like 'oh, your stupid'.
He's almost there anyway, he wants it and he knows it... i don't want to pressurise him. If the curate can wait 20 or 30 years then i can wait 9 months till we get married, or longer, if thats what it takes!
...Theres an awful lot on my mind today.
Topics i havent yet covered that are still stewing in my brain are:
>Should we just elope? Get married abroad? It's not like anyone approves our decision.
>Why the hell am i doing this course, i've got no idea what i'm doing
>My rooms and mess and i don;t want to start packing
>My housemates all owe me money and i'm completely broke, how is this fair?
>I've just received another smarmy e-mail from a lettings agent treating me like a 5 year old
>I'm homesick, I'm homesick, I'm homesick.
>I haven't seen Jamie in 2 weeks, It's not easy.
>Why have i moved so far away from all my real friends.
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